Jack please don't tell Ryan you know Santa personally he will freak out a little bit. And now all I want is a North in the game…

Sob his only experience with mermaids is watching The Little Mermaid how would he know. Also Peter Pan but the mermaids were only mean to girls. Logic, yo. Also no that's pretty much a decent piece of headcanon (I actually rewatched ROTG with a friend this week) and it's solid. Jack's allowed to tell everybody that other spirits are assholes.

As long as there aren't actual toilet spirits it's fine.